How to Advocate for Traditional Marriage?

Disclaimer: Although this post will be talking about marriage between a man and a woman and how to defend it, it does not mean I do not respect or have prejudice towards same sex couples. It does signify, though, that, personally, I believe in traditional marriage. 

Now, lets get to business. Why traditional marriage? First, from a religious stand point, I believe that God created man and woman, each with specific characteristics appurtenant to their gender. David A. Bednar affirmed: "The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation." Second, they were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth, a commandment which can only be achieved by a man and a woman. Third, I believe that a family constituted by man, woman, and children is more beneficial to the society.  

As same-sex marriage rights spread rapidly around the world, people like me, who still believes in traditional marriage feel the pressure from society to conform to its new values. However, it is important that we hold our stand and advocate for what we believe, as much as the same-sex advocates do. The current trend is that if you do not agree with same-sex marriage then it is assumed that you are being prejudiced. Justice Alito, one of the of the judgeds from the Supreme Court who opposed the same sex petition, said: “The decision will also have other important consequences. It will be used to vilify Americans who are unwilling to assent to the new orthodoxy” (p. 101).)  He was right, this is exactly what we have been seeing nowadays. Thus, it is important to remember that civility and respect need to be used always when discussing this topic.

What can you do to advocate for this cause?

A initial thought would be to start in your own family: make your marriage work, establish family traditions, teach your children the principles of traditional marriage, preach by example, keep an open line of conversation about same-sex marriage with your children and clarify their doubts or conflicting thoughts they might have. 

Also, stand to what you believe. Do not be afraid to advocate for marriage between a man a woman. As long as you do so in a respectful, loving, and caring way. There are many others with this same belief and if we stand together we will have the ability to influence others. 

Is Divorce the Solution?

In the past, divorce laws were stricter than they are nowadays. Some states did not accept divorce at all, others only on the grounds of adultery, and some had more liberal laws. Thus, individuals would establish temporary residence in this liberal states in order to benefit of their laws.

As divorce numbers increased over the years, a no-fault-divorce law was created. The law states that if the marriage is not working for both parties or even one spouse (in some states) they can initiate the divorce process.

Considering then, the easy access to divorce, how do we define which marriages are unworkable and which can be saved?

One thing is most certain, relationships that pose danger to the well-being of the spouses and/or children or to their health should not last. On the other hand, due to the easiness of the process, many people are using divorce as the quick fix to their marital issues. The problem with this perspective is that it reduces the willingness of the couple to solve family conflict and cope with crisis. 

Studies have shown that if the couple would stick together for more 5 years from the moment they felt they needed a divorce, and would engage in therapy sessions or other programs, they would overcome their problems.Divorce will have negative consequences in both spouses. Second, when there is a child born from the relationship, the effects are awful, to say the least, as you can see in the following list: 

• Intense anger, self-blame, fears about the future, and loyalty conflict,
• More physical and emotional health problems
• More likely to be less sociable, have fewer friends, and be less responsive at school, home, and play.
• Have lower self-esteem, more likely to be anxious, depressed, and withdrawn.
• More likely to have eating disorders.

The list could on for a little while and we would still miss some of the negative impacts of divorce in children. If those weren't evidence enough, studies show that "failure in first marriage has no necessary bearing on the quality of a second marriage" (Johnson and Booth. 1998). Essentially, a second marriage can fail too. In fact, the statistics are higher.

As I read and went through  these studies, I really got myself thinking that if you are not in an abusive relationship, it is worth fighting for a good marriage. Even though, we see. constantly, celebrities and other famous people getting divorced, it does not necessarily mean that their choice was the best one and should be followed.

Thus, lets fix what is fixable. Seek help if you are struggling in your relationship, I know it will be worth it!