Is Divorce the Solution?

In the past, divorce laws were stricter than they are nowadays. Some states did not accept divorce at all, others only on the grounds of adultery, and some had more liberal laws. Thus, individuals would establish temporary residence in this liberal states in order to benefit of their laws.

As divorce numbers increased over the years, a no-fault-divorce law was created. The law states that if the marriage is not working for both parties or even one spouse (in some states) they can initiate the divorce process.

Considering then, the easy access to divorce, how do we define which marriages are unworkable and which can be saved?

One thing is most certain, relationships that pose danger to the well-being of the spouses and/or children or to their health should not last. On the other hand, due to the easiness of the process, many people are using divorce as the quick fix to their marital issues. The problem with this perspective is that it reduces the willingness of the couple to solve family conflict and cope with crisis. 

Studies have shown that if the couple would stick together for more 5 years from the moment they felt they needed a divorce, and would engage in therapy sessions or other programs, they would overcome their problems.Divorce will have negative consequences in both spouses. Second, when there is a child born from the relationship, the effects are awful, to say the least, as you can see in the following list: 

• Intense anger, self-blame, fears about the future, and loyalty conflict,
• More physical and emotional health problems
• More likely to be less sociable, have fewer friends, and be less responsive at school, home, and play.
• Have lower self-esteem, more likely to be anxious, depressed, and withdrawn.
• More likely to have eating disorders.

The list could on for a little while and we would still miss some of the negative impacts of divorce in children. If those weren't evidence enough, studies show that "failure in first marriage has no necessary bearing on the quality of a second marriage" (Johnson and Booth. 1998). Essentially, a second marriage can fail too. In fact, the statistics are higher.

As I read and went through  these studies, I really got myself thinking that if you are not in an abusive relationship, it is worth fighting for a good marriage. Even though, we see. constantly, celebrities and other famous people getting divorced, it does not necessarily mean that their choice was the best one and should be followed.

Thus, lets fix what is fixable. Seek help if you are struggling in your relationship, I know it will be worth it!