Part 1 - The Parenting Pyramid

I have recently encountered a parenting framework that has changed the way I see disciplining children. The framework was created by the Arbinger Institute and it is called the Parenting Pyramid. 

This framework teaches parents that before correcting their children for doing something wrong, they should be looking at:

1. Their personal way of being. Who they are as a person and if their lives align with what they want to teach their children. 
2. Their marital relationship. If they are having trouble as a couple, their parenting ability might be impaired. 
3. Their relationship with their children. How connected are they? Do the children trust them?
4. Teaching. Do you spend more time correcting than teaching?
5. Correcting. 

The following video does a great job explaining in more detail the parenting pyramid: 

My favorite part about the pyramid was learning the importance of teaching more than correcting. I think many parents nowadays spend most of their time correcting instead of teaching.

Have you ever felt caught up in one of the following scenarios:

• Spending most of your time threatening/correcting/disciplining your children
• Spending several hours reading books on how to discipline and punish your children
• Learning about positive discipline and/or natural and logical consequences for bad behavior.

Now, have you ever asked yourself questions that sounded like this:

• How can I keep my children from fighting?
• What do I do when my child disrespects me?
• What do I do when my child does not do her chores?
• What do I do when my child violates her curfew?

If you have, you are not alone. Many parents are faced with these scenarios and wonder what they can do to stop the undesirable behavior. 

According to the Arbinger Institute, instead of focusing on what can be done when things are going wrong, parents should focus on what they can do to help things go right. For example, instead of asking the questions listed above, parents could ask themselves the following: 

• How do I help my children to love one another?
• How do I help my child to learn to be respectful?
• How do I teach my children to be responsible?

Besides asking the questions above, it is important to take a look at each section of the parenting pyramid to evaluate how you are doing in each one of them.

Hopefully, this information will be as helpful to you as it was for me. 

Best, 

Bianca. 

REFERENCES:

The Parenting Pyramid - Brigham Young University–Idaho. (n.d.). Retrieved February 17, 2022, from https://content.byui.edu/file/91e7c911-20c5-4b9f-b8fc-9e4b1b37b6fc/1/Parenting_Pyramid_article.pdf