Part 3 - Praising That Hurts

Did you know that there are different types of praises? See image below to learn about them: 

Evaluative praise is proven to limit children. It praises achievement and not effort. For this reason, kids praised on achievement or skill tend to believe they do not need to work hard to become better. 

Descriptive and appreciative praises on the other hand are a great way to praise effort. When we praise children on effort, they are more likely to become gritty. Grit is the ability to persist even after setbacks. A gritty child has a growth mindset. She believes that her qualities can be cultivated through effort. She demonstrates resilience and is willing to work hard and better to achieve results.

Here are some practical examples on how to praise effort instead of ability: 

Instead of: Wow, look at that grade! You are so good in math! 

Try: I noticed you have been working hard on math lately. It is paying off!

Instead of: You are such a nice big brother!

Try: Your siblings seem to love when you share your toys with them.

Instead of: Good job at cleaning your room! 

Try: I saw your effort in cleaning your room today. 

Praising effort takes a lot more intention than praising skills, but it will be worth it in the long run. 

Here's a great video explaining more of the science behind this concept:

Best, 

Bianca. 

REFERENCES: 

Are we spoiling our kids with too much praise? - JSTOR DAILY. (n.d.). Retrieved February 17, 2022, from https://daily.jstor.org/are-we-spoiling-our-kids-with-too-much-praise/

Dweck, C. S. (2017). Mindset. Robinson.